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Enemy Engage (Spongebob Squarepants Fanfiction)
Enemy Engage (June 1, 2018) Synopsis - Patrick and Gary compete against each other to see who can annoy Squidward the most. Characters Patrick Star Gary The Snail Squidward Tentacles Spongebob Squarepants (cameo) Squilvia (cameo) Pulverized People (in photographs) The Story The story begins inside Patrick's rock. The wooden headed starfish dims a candle and stands before an opponent of his, a very subordinate shellback snail. PATRICK: This day marks the 1st annual sacred day of annoying Squidward Tentacles, the one and only. GARY: Meow PATRICK: Only one can annoy that great octopus! And it is me! GARY: Meow PATRICK: Gary, you are a faithful opponent, but you are too stupid to annoy anybody! GARY: Meow Meow? PATRICK: I know what 1 + 1 is! It's 8! Now enough talking! We must begin the annoying! We begin………. Patrick begins drooling and has a brain fart. Gary forms some fingers and snaps them breaking the starfish out of his trance. PATRICK: Now! Patrick tries to do a disappearing trick with an invisible cloak. He then realizes it is just a costume. PATRICK: Barnacles! The scene jumps to Squidward wearing a flower sun hat. He begins watering his coconut beans. SPONGEBOB: Hey Squidward!! Can I help?!! SQUIDWARD (holding a pitchfork): BEAT IT YOU MANIACAL MANIAC! SPONGEBOB: Yes sir! Spongebob blows a kiss and skips off to his house. Squidward shakes his head and grabs a water canteen. SQUIDWARD: Hopeless moron. The grouchy octopus then hears the sound of dripping and looks to see Gary, marking his territory, over the coconut beans. Squidward chases him off with the pitchfork. SQUIDWARD: BEAT IT YOU STUPID SNAIL!!! ERRGGHH! LOOK AT THIS! MY COCONUT BEANS ARE RUINED!!! Squidward slams his pitchfork to the ground in frustration and storms off inside. Squidward finishes cooking up a piece of steak. He then opens his fridge door to take out some limeade he wants as a beverage. A starfish hand reaches through the open back window, grabs & eats the steak in one bite. Squidward finishes pouring himself some limeade and then looks much to his shock, no steak on the stovetop. SQUIDWARD: Where is my imported steak?! Squidward then hears a burp outside and looks out his window to see Patrick with a full belly and excess grease on a bib. He mixes up polite manners. PATRICK: Gesundheit Squidward smashes his limeade to the floor angrily and kicks over a laundry basket. Squidward & his girlfriend Squilvia, finish watching a movie inside Squid's bedroom under the blanket sheets on her iPad. SQUIDWARD: A kiss honey? SQUILVIA: You bet! Before the two cephalopods could kiss, they hear a whistle. They peek out of the covers to find Gary watching them from across the room eating a tub of popcorn. Squilvia shrieks. SQUILVIA: AAAAAHHHHHHHHH!!!!! Squilvia slaps Squidward across the face for “hiring” someone to “watch” them. SQUILVIA: Sicko! She then runs off. SQUIDWARD: BABY! It's not what it looks like! Squidward fumes with rage and throws Gary out his window. Squid orders some onion rings from an onion ring joint. Instead of getting a delivery man at his door, he finds Patrick, with onion ring excess on his face and a sign on his body that says, “I Love You.” Squidward angrily shuts the door and walks off to make a sandwich. Squidward naps in his recliner. Gary quietly positions a cooking pot full of water under his elbow. He then puts Squidward's hand in. Moments later, ink squirts out of Squidward's nose going all over his shirt and recliner. SQUIDWARD (waking up): Ughhghgh! Arrrrrgghhh!! GARY (laughing): Meow Meow! Squidward practices his clarinet up in his gallery. He struggles with incorrect music notes. SQUIDWARD: Why is F Minor & D Major so tough?! Squidward eventually sets down his clarinet and transitions to painting. He gets out his checklist. SQUIDWARD: Canvas, check, Color Palet, check, Pictures of people being pulverized by bulldozers. An array of photographs of this are shown on Squid's mantle. SQUIDWARD: Paint Coat, check! Okay, now I just need the brush! A starfish hand gives him a paintbrush. SQUIDWARD: Oh thank you. Squidward then stops in his tracks and looks to see Patrick sitting across from him in painting attire while eating some skittles. PATRICK: Wait…. are we now we gonna paint yesterday? Or is it Wednesday? Squidward screams in a fit of rage and punches his fist through the blank canvas. PATRICK: Punching! Oh I want to punch something! Patrick walks up to the gallery fireplace. He punches the real flame burning the woodpile inside. PATRICK: OW!!!!! He then sees his burnt hands. PATRICK: Why are my palms black? SQUIDWARD: Why are you and Spongebob's stupid snail stalking me?! PATRICK: Didn’t you hear?! It's the sacred day of annoying you! SQUIDWARD: What?!! PATRICK: It is a new tradition! Right Gary? Gary slithers into the gallery with a newspaper having finished using Squidward's bathroom. GARY: Meow PATRICK: So who won?! Surely my tastes in eating your steak had to have gotten on your nerves! GARY: Meow SQUIDWARD: Win? Win?! You think you two win?!! PATRICK: Yeah! Now fork over the prize BEFORE I DESTROY YOU! SQUIDWARD: FORK! Wait fork? Hmmm, I got an interesting prize for you Patrick! Winner! Let me attend to my treasure chest! PATRICK: Yay! Squidward begins digging into his “treasure chest,” labelled “TOOLS.” Gary gets concerned. PATRICK: Ha! I win Gary! GARY: Meow PATRICK: You’re glad you lost? GARY: Meow PATRICK: And now you’re going to run away because, Squidward will stab me with a fork? GARY: MEOW!!! A terrified Gary slithers right out the window. Patrick looks to see Squidward smiling and armed with a fork. PATRICK (terrified): I think I need to borrow another pair of Spongebob's underwear! The screen cuts to black and Squidward begins giving Patrick his just desserts. PATRICK: Forks!!! Category:SquidwardTentacles35